Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Holiday Eating Tips!

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can...and quickly. Like fine single-malt
Scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt Scotch.
You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who
cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going
to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me……………..have two. It's later than you think. It's the holidays!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your
mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
people's food for free. Lots of it. Hellooooooooo?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is
The time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
shoes………….if you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat…Have a slice of each. Or,
if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always
have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor
Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, for God's sake..... have some standards.

10. One final tip: if you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or when you get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the
corner.

Merry Christmas!!!!

3359569813_c41f6bcdd3

No comments:

Post a Comment

I would love to hear your thoughts!

EMAIL ME!

If you have QUESTIONS relating to jewelry (cleaning/Locating/history/mystery stone ID) Maybe you are looking for a TUTORIAL. Would you like to be a FEATURED ARTIST on my blog? I will feature a (handmade, indie) artist OF ANY MEDIUM! You do NOT have to be a jewelry artist to request a feature on my blog!! You can email me about any of these things, and more! Here is my email:
ArtistryJewelryStudios@gmail.com Aprilee